Friday, 22 May 2009

Apologies, ~ The World, and the Fool.

Okay. I am missing Jack. Home is so quiet. I sit and cradle Jack's present to me, the little stray that we found on holiday, Caerwys (which means "love", in Welsh).And I have Logan. Big, comfortable Logan, whose birthday means he is a cross between the Magician and The Wheel of Fortune.

And... I still miss Jackory. I keep telling myself love transcends time and space, this life and the next. I keep telling Jackory thanks, and for him not to stay by me, as I know he has his own pathway now and he has given me so much. He's taught me a lot. Particularly about love. And I have to say other types of love, well some of them fall short.

I've been thinking about "love" and have come to realise that although "love is a many splendid thing", we come from Love don't we and we return to love. And perhaps after all, when we think of true love, what ever it's origin or place in our life, true love is....I don't think I have words really. A family friend who became "uncle Theo" to my daughter said that love is making someone's life easier, better. Well Jackory certainly did that. He gave me unselfish, unconditional love 24/7, 365 days a year. It didn't matter if I was fatter, thinner, spottier, richer, poorer.... sick or well. He loved me just as much regardless.

He was utterly faithful, utterly protective, utterly companionable, utterly understanding, he was devoted to others and would protect the young, old, frail, vulnerable, whether animal or human.
He was every inch a gentleman of a dog and had his ethics and never wrecked one thing in the house. He was fun, laughter, company, comfort, solace, a good listener, he was strong, gentle, brave and true.

At the vets, a song came into my heart and head. I started to sing it. It is "What becomes of the broken hearted". The final few lyrics say this:

"Now what's become of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind
I'll be searching everywhere
Just to find someone to care.
I'll be looking everyday
I know I'm gonna find a way
Nothings gonna stop me now
I'll find a way somehow
I'll be searching everywhere".

Jackory, in tarot terms, was part of my world. He was a big part of my balance and harmony, And I his. And yes I miss him. But I know he is on his journey, as he told me, a couple of months before any of his symptoms. Jack told me in my dream he had to leave, that he wanted to be a search and rescue dog.

Jackory was full of care. Like the song says, he is on his new pathway now. And I don't wish to halt his pathway, so I send him love and light.

When I miss him that's what I do. I send him a rainbow of peace and light, and energy, and love. To help him on his journey. I can cry, or I can do this. Yes okay sometimes I cry too. And I've eaten my fair share of chocolate, crisps and ice cream since he's left us. But deep down I know, love truly is a many splendid thing. I know Jackory was only a dog, but you see if you think about it, dogs so often give us the true love not all of us get in human terms. Maybe we humans only get to experience some of the splendour of it. After all, creation comes from it. And like Jackory I'm on a new sort of level in my life. After all, what comes after the card called The World? Well it is the Fool. Only thing is, I have to figure out my pathway. And the thing about dogs is that they are good path-finders. I guess it's time to trust love is truly a many splendoured thing, and that it surpases what we call time and space. It's time for me to take a leap of faith...

And know that wherever you go, you take the love with you.

Godlove my Jackory.


dogfaeriex5 said...

oh sweet one~i hate to see you be sad!he has befriended sambucca and they are running the open fields...he will live forever in your heart and someday you will be together again...xoxoxox

greekwitch said...

I am so sorry for your loss! My thoughts are with you! My email is . Brightest blessings